Serious Journalism Here

We here at RMF adhere to the highest standards of journalistic integrity.

So it's time for a serious discussion of one the pressing issues of our time -- Zombies.

Ever since Romero defined the genre with his landmark films, zombies have been slow, plodding, stupid, and near invincible.

Fast forward a few decades and you have the movie 28 Days Later, which was a very good movie from my standpoint. Keep in mind that I spent the first summer I actually had a job trying to rent and watch every horror movie from Blockbuster, and some of my favorite movies are from Fullmoon (creators of the Puppet Master and Bloodstone series) and you have some idea of the high standards I set for horror movies.

My problem now is this. Since 28DL, almost every movie or video game now has zombies that were, apparently, ninjas in their past life. We recently got Resident Evil 5 for our 360, and while it is fun, it's apparent that these are not classic zombies, which is kind of a let down. It is excusable to a certain point, as they are not supposed to be zombies directly, but some kind of infected undead beings of a specific origin, but at one point in the game, these "new zombies" begin using truck mounted machine guns and dynamite to attack you.

Um, what?

Yes, at one point in this survival horror game, you have to snipe a "zombie" off the back of a truck, where he is firing a mounted machine gun. When did we stumble into Call of Duty? Because I have played that game, hated it, and promptly never played again. Did it's evil/suck combination somehow infect the other disks on my shelf? After you finally manage to bypass that section, you are faced with a hoard of zombies who are throwing dynamite at you. Killing them causes them to drop the dynamite, which explodes soon after. God help you if you're low on bullets and trying to use the uppercut/stomp combination to deal with these guys, as you will quickly be blown apart.

I will, of course continue playing. I love the story of the games so much that I will plod through and try to find a way to deal with these cheap attacks, but please, future game developers, think of the classics.

Bring back the zombie.

Thank you